Monday, March 17, 2014

The Bracket Post

I wrote this a long time ago. I post it again. What of it.

Millions of people are sitting around this morning filling out brackets for this year's NCAA tournament.  I don't feel I would be doing my job if I didn't take some time out to give you some tips and tricks to having a successful bracket this year.  Do you want to be made fun of in your office/home?  I don't think so my friend!  I also have some things that I need to get off of my chest.

The Big Rich Strategy for Success
I know that filling out your bracket is a daunting task.  I know some of you are going to make some stupid decisions.  There are two things that you need to know so that you can fill out your bracket and still feel comfortble with yourself as a man/woman.  You can actually use this technique in any kind of fantasy sport that you play.  I am praying right now that you go to lovestopicnic.com before you go to any other site so that you get this information before going willy nilly and ruining the month of March for yourself and neighbors.

Rule #1:  To thine own self be true!
Remember this is your bracket! It aint anybody elses.  So before you go and let your friend ruin it by taking their bootsy advice on who is going to win a game you have to ask yourself "Is this my pick? Or is this Joe Blow's pick?"  I myself am a purist.  I don't like anybody else's bootsyness tainting my bracket.

Rule #2:  Pick the team that you think will win the game.
I have a buddy who shall remain nameless (check the label at the bottom) who always has weird strategies when it comes to fantasy sports.  For example this guy will read up the whole month of August on fantasy football and what the experts are saying.  He will then try to find the "Sleepers" and pick those guys while there are actually good players left on the board.  Mich....this guy also uses these kinds of strategies when it comes to the NCAA tournament.  "Ok I have deduced that I need one 12 seed to beat a 5 seed so therefore according to the data I choose Wisconsin to beat North Carolina and reach the final four".  I don't have to tell you that this guy is a perennial loser at fantasy sports.  I have been using the same strategy for years when it comes to fantasy sports and it hasn't failed me yet.  Pick the team that you think will win the game.  I know I know it's a little to deep for you to understand.  Let me try to break it down a little more.  For example Gonzaga is playing Florida State in the first round this year.  This is an 8 vs 9 seed game.  Tough to choose.  You can look up the schedules, look at the RPI, look at the conference matchups, or you can use my method.  Pick the team you think will win.  Gonzaga, duh.  Use my method and in the end you will win the million dollars or not. 

Big Rich's Beef!
Ok I have had some things on my mind about this tournament and I need to come out and say it.  Being respected by your peers is a big thing.  Everyone wants to feel like their opinion will be respected by their homeboys.  I have a really hard time respecting these so called "sports fans" when it comes to the NCAA tournament for several reasons.  If you want to be respected by me then follow these rules.

Rule #1:  Have one bracket that you talk to me about!
Like I said before I am a purist.  I'm old school.  I make ONE bracket.  When I talk about the NCAA tournament and who I want to win I am speaking specifically on the only bracket that I filled out.  I know I am living in a dream world.  Everyone else out there is filling out 7 brackets each.  Some of you will be happy when any team wins cause you have picked them in at least one of your brackets.  I don't respect that and I never will.  But I am living in the real world and I realize that.  If I hated on everyone who had more then one bracket then I would be hating on everyone.  So I will make a compromise.  You can fill out as many brackets as you want.  But if you want me to respect you when we are having a conversation about the tournament and we are talking about our picks then pick your favorite one that you filled out and talk to me about that one.  Heck I'll even give you till after the first weekend for you to pick which one is your favorite.  But after that do not tell me that you had that you had the Butler getting to the elite eight.  You dont'.  You might have that in your 16th bracket that you filled out at your dentist's office but you don't have that in your "Real" bracket.  Cause let's be serious, you don't know what your doing and you didn't pick that upset. 

Rule #2:  Don't try to make feel people stupid when you talk about your bracket.
Just because people don't fill out the same bracket that you fill out it doesn't mean they are stupid and it certainly doesn't make you a genius.  "You didn't pick Louisville to beat to beat Cal? LOL. Everybody knew Louiville would roll them".  No they didn't and neither did you.  You just got lucky.  Get over yourself.  My wife has a better bracket then you.  Does that mean she knows more about college basketball then you do?  It's this kind of arrogance that we could all live without during March Madness.

Rule #3:  Filling out a good bracket does not mean you are tight. 
Let's face it all of our brackets are going to be terrible.  There is a really good chance that Natalie is going to beat me in this thing.  I am fine with that.  Let's not put all of our self worth into filling out our brackets.  Nobody knows what is going to happen and that's what makes March Madness so special.  Actually let me take that back.  I know what is going to happen and here it is.

Elite Eight
Florida
Kansas
Michigan State
Iowa State
San Diego State
Wisconsin
Louisville
Duke

This will no doubt happen

Final Four
Kansas
Iowa State
Wisconsin
Louisville

Championship Game
Kansas Vs Wisconsin

Champion
You already know!

Good luck filling out your brackets.  Remember you don't know more about this then I do.

3 comments:

Jason Odenthal said...

Love the Homer pick!!! Problem is that the fan in me always overrides logic.

Jonathan said...

Michael Paradise is a smart man. I like his style (go for value underdogs).

C.Guty said...

This was a really wrong guess... haha