Ok we waited till the show was over so the commercials won't kill our suspense. We are now sitting on the couch about to watch it. Natalie has the blanket and we are ready to go.
Geez this guy makes out with alot of chicks and we aren't even out of the beginning clip of how awesome this show has been. Let the record show that I've only watched this show a couple times while waiting for KU basketball on Big Monday. Oh and last week we had to see what that skanky chick had to say to all of those other chicks. Riveting.
This guy is buff but who thinks he's like 5-3? He isn't that much taller then any of these girls.
He just said "Love is what is making this so complicated"
Vienna has a dirty looking prison yard tat
Natalie is now mad that we went to Kauai for our honeymoon instead of St. Lucia. Hey Buell doesn't have a time share in St. Lucia!
I'm digging his pink shirt.
He just said he wanted a big dog pile with his family
Sounds like he is in love with both of these girls very deeply.
First commercial break. Wow I don't know how this dude is going to be able to pick.
Ooh commercial for a Miley Cyrus movie. Nicholas Sparks movie. I wonder how this commercial got on the season finale for the Bachelor
Yeah this guy is shorter then Tom Cruise
This Tenly girl is cute. But there were some other girls that he was romping with in the beginning scene that were cuter. Just saying.
Oh Snap the family is grilling Tenly. She is showing alot of poise. This might be just as good as the Texas Oklahoma game over on ESPN
Ok this dude's dad is crying to much. Get a grip old man
Natalie likes Tenly's dress if that means anything.
The Bachelor just said he was going to ask one of these girls to marry him. Isn't this the point of the show?
Dad approves of Tenley. He was also staring down her blouse.
This family is nothing like my family. They are white.
I'm mad at the bachelor cause he just jumped in the pool with his clothes on. This is ridiculous. Oh snap he just said that jumping in the pool is what life's about. Now the whole family is jumping in. This reminds me of the plot of "The Crazies".
2nd commercial
hmm Arby's commercial
Ok this Vienna chick is kinda mediocre looking. Ok I have decided he needs to pick Tenly. Roll credits this mug is a wrap. Pick the cuter girl without the baseball size tat on her stomach.
Now she is laughing about how the girls hated her. Ooh the family is not digging it. Vienna just said she is "brutally honest". Sister not feeling it. Vienna better start handing out 50's if she wants to win this thing. This dinner is as awkward as when my parents told me about sex during Sabbath lunch in the third grade. Mom is doin typical "I hate this girl" talk while still sounding like it's his decision.
Natalie thinks the Bachelor will pick the girl she hates ruining her life. Not the girl's life but Natalie's.
3rd commercial
The Bachelor is worried that nobody likes Vienna. Quick question how did Vienna make it this far? Anybody been watching this show?
Vienna thinks Bachelor is in love with her and not Tenly. Wow. She is delusional.
Apparently Vienna can't see herself without the bachelor. Interesting.
Ooh sister just used the word "Abrasive" when describing Vienna. I can't believe there is more then an hour left of this show.
Bachelor is rocking a dope denim shirt. Now all he needs to do is grow.
In a previous life Vienna played the Alien that ate it's way out of the dudes stomach in Ridley Scott's "Alien"
Now the mom is switching her story. Producers trying to make this mug interesting.
Natalie just said she was going to stab her eyes out if Vienna wins. I hope this doesn't happen for obvious reasons. This is getting depressing so watch this video real quick.
4th commercial break
Vienna is showing off her tat playing in the water and mud. They are now wrestling in the mud.
She just said that she wants to get down and dirty with the Bachelor. This has no hidden meanings.
Quick Natalie observation: He is just into her because she is blonde and has huge boobs.
Natalie is also quick to observe that her breasts are not real. I wonder if the Bachelor knows.
Newsflash:The Bachelor acknowledges that he is physically attracted to Vienna.
5th commercial
Vienna says it was stupid to get married for three weeks.
Vienna is goin to give the Bachelor her ring. I don't know if she knows that it doesn't work this way.
Natalie says that she wishes Vienna was prettier. I wish this show was over.
Vienna is crying and I'm going upstairs to grab some fruit snacks.
6th commercial
Bachelor just said that it is tough to be in love with two girls at the same time. I feel bad for him.
They just wen't snorkeling with dolphins. In ya face Vienna!
Jake doesn't think that he has physical chemistry with Tenly. This is stupid.
7th commercial
Natalie quote "I'm so stressed out" I'm stressed out to. Will this show be over before the eleven o'clock sportscenter?
The bachelor is disappointed in himself. I am disappointed that he is rocking that denim shirt again. Cmon man you are a pilot. Stop at Banana on the way home or something.
So it comes down to a girl that he has an emotional attachment to in Tenly or a girl with big boobs in Vienna. Decisions.
Natalie quote "I'm so nervous" Take my quote about sportscenter and apply nervous instead of stressed.
8th commercial
Tenly Montage Bachelor said he would have a blessed life with her
Vienna Montage Bachelor calls her playful. He doesn't know who its goin to be.
Tenly thinks they are meant to be.
Vienna says she regrets going to prison for killin that girl and then getting that tattoo when she was drunk (she didn't say any of this)
Natalie is mad that one of these girls is goin to get some dope jewelry.
This guy can't even pick a ring. This is pathetic. They need a whole new show in which for a season he picks the ring. This is retarded.
Natalie quote: "I can't do it I just have to know" This sounds like it was in a Godfather movie.
Oh snap he made a decision. This mug looked as hard as deciding whether or not I will have an Ice Cream Sundae. Do I get the Ice Cream and enjoy the goodness? Or do I have a pain free evening?
Natalie thinks his suit should go back to the nineties.
10th commercial
Tenly just hopped out of the chopper. Tenly Get to the Choppa!
Oh Snap he just told Tenly he wasn't feeling it.
Natalie quote: How are they goin to make this poor girl stare into the sun? She just got her heart broken. This is awful". That is messed up that they made her stare into the sun.
Natalie quote: I wish I would have never started watching this show. Then I could be in bed right now. Stupid Vienna."
Natalie is now mad at me. I have nothing to do with this show.
Women are going to beat their husbands tonight.
Dang St. Lucia is pretty. Maybe it's the HD
11th commercial
Natalie Quote: "I am a little happy for Vienna though" I have such a sweet wife.
Vienna is getting out of the chopper now. Dang I don't have a clip. Sike here's Captain Planet
Bachelor is proposing now. This mug might be over soon.
He just got down on one knee. This is how I proposed to Natalie minus the St. Lucia in the background.
Music Montage. This reminds me of Rocky 4 oh what the heck.
I guess the show is over. Howla!
4 comments:
Lol, now we can only wonder how crass Logan was. Must have been borderline PG-13.
On an unrelated note, is this the best Rocky montage? I'm not sure... I personally like 3's the best. I like it because Apollo is helping (playing on both the "friends becoming enemies" and "Ebony and Ivory" concepts. Hard to beat.
ct
I got fruit snacks at the same time. Alana was mad because they are Isaiah's. Forget that. I'm a grown man. If I feel like I want a packet of fruit snacks, I can have them. Why shouldn't I be able to? I work hard during the day. I can't stand Vienna.
I watched the show and reading this blog was better than that wasted 2 hours. Thank you Richard.
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