Love the marriage more then your spouse.

At my sister's wedding my uncle delivered a beautiful homily. I have since gone back to listen to what he said and apply it to my own marriage. He made a point that I think about quite a bit. It's not a very romantic thought but marriage isn't always romantic. The other day I was talking about this with someone and then later that person called me back for clarification. I knew that I wouldn't be able to do it justice so I had my uncle write down his thought from the homily. Here it is.

-Rich

There will be times when all the good qualities that you now see in one another may seem to fade. But with all this, you should remain unmoved in your devotion, loyalty and commitment to the institution of marriage first, and then to one another. You see, success in marriage does not depend on spouses committing themselves to each other as much as it does to their committing themselves to marriage, the unchanging institution that they have mutually entered into.

Marriage is a steady, unchanging institution entered into by two people who are constantly changing as they grow and mature. These changes can be unnerving and frustrating and can easily ignite conflict. I heard of a woman who married hoping to change her husband, while he had married her hoping that she would never change. It all ended up in he not changing while she changed.

The fact of the matter is, and it might be a scary thought, but the person we marry is not the person we will live with, because that person is changing all the time. Respect for the honorableness and stability of marriage can give a husband and a wife a solid anchor that enables them to weather the storms of change as they grow toward oneness.

Keep in mind that the Bible presents Marriage as an institution that should be highly respected and esteemed above all other institutions. In Hebrews 13:4 the Bible says Marriage should be honored by all. Notice that it says that Marriage should be honored by all. It says nothing at all about the people in the marriage. People are not always honorable because people change. But Marriage is constant. It’s almost telling us that the what is more important than the who, and that we must love marriage more than the spouse. So please, orient your marriage around biblical truth. You’ll be blessed.

Marriage was not just invented by God. It belongs to God. God has a unique claim over its design, purpose and goals. It actually exists for Him more than it exists for you. That’s right! Marriage is not first about you as husband and wife. Of course you two are essential, but you are also secondary. God is the most important person in a marriage. Marriage is for our good but it is first for God’s glory.