Monday, April 30, 2012
Sets practical goals
I think of things very simply. That probably means that I'm a simple minded person. I don't really have a problem with that. When I am preparing to talk to a group of people I always develop my main point first and then I move backwards from there filling in everything else that I want to say. Maybe that is why I am able to set practical goals for myself.
I am an emotional person but strangely there is not to much emotion in the way I go about setting goals for myself. I have goals in my professional life. But for right now I want to share with you my goals overall in life. They are very simple and they are what I chase everyday.
1. Learn:
When I was younger I was a very curious person. I would read quite a bit. I loved books. I loved acquiring knowledge. Then school happened. I wasn't a bad student. But I wasn't on the President's list either. There was not enough time to read for pleasure and play late night every night. Before I played basketball I loved to read. Now that basketball has left me I have come back to reading. In the last three weeks I have read about six books. I am not a fast reader. I am just constantly reading.
On Writing-Stephen King
The Firm-John Grisham. Read this in a 24 hr period
The Slaughterhouse Five- Kurt Vonnegut
Lolita- Vladimir Nabakov
The Great Gatsby- F Scott Fitzgerald
The Catcher In The Rye- J.D. Sallinger
If you have read any of these and want to chat about them let me know.
I am not telling you about my love of reading to brag or say that I'm some intellectual because I'm not. I am just pointing out that I do this because I want to know what all the hubub is about. I want to learn from these stories. I just want to learn. Also one time my boss told me that readers are leaders. I took that to heart.
2. Develop My Relationships:
Throughout life I find myself constantly juggling relationships. There are some relationships that need maintenance. There are some that require very little. Michael Paradise and I don't have to talk for a month and we can still strike up a conversation anytime about the Chiefs, Royals, Jayhawks, or IzabyDaBaby's texting habits. We don't have to talk but we like to. I'm sure many of you have low maintenance relationships that you enjoy. Now that I'm at the ripe old age of 28 I can decide which relationships to keep and which to not concern myself with. The relationships that mean the most to me I am constantly trying to develop. I have two relationships that I care the most about. It is very important to me that my wife and I are growing in the same direction. Many times we are not on the same page. I don't think God created a person that thinks more differently about things than I do. Luckily we have the same foundation that all of the other things that we are so different in can work themselves out through communication and love. My goal is to constantly develop our relationship so that one day we will understand everything about each other (This will never happen but I'm going to enjoy the journey).
The other relationship that I am trying to develop is my relationship with God. When Jesus comes back I would like for him to recognize me. I picture him looking out through the mass of people and picking me out because I am his friend and he knows me. I develop this relationship by trying to take time each day to read about Jesus and talk to him. Some days I succeed and other days I don't.
I think that something unpractical about these goals is that I will never reach them. I know that we are supposed to set goals out of reach but not out of sight, but when I think of main goals for my life I couldn't think of anything better. I think that through always trying to achieve these goals in my private life my professional, and personal lives will take care of themselves.
I am an emotional person but strangely there is not to much emotion in the way I go about setting goals for myself. I have goals in my professional life. But for right now I want to share with you my goals overall in life. They are very simple and they are what I chase everyday.
1. Learn:
When I was younger I was a very curious person. I would read quite a bit. I loved books. I loved acquiring knowledge. Then school happened. I wasn't a bad student. But I wasn't on the President's list either. There was not enough time to read for pleasure and play late night every night. Before I played basketball I loved to read. Now that basketball has left me I have come back to reading. In the last three weeks I have read about six books. I am not a fast reader. I am just constantly reading.
On Writing-Stephen King
The Firm-John Grisham. Read this in a 24 hr period
The Slaughterhouse Five- Kurt Vonnegut
Lolita- Vladimir Nabakov
The Great Gatsby- F Scott Fitzgerald
The Catcher In The Rye- J.D. Sallinger
If you have read any of these and want to chat about them let me know.
I am not telling you about my love of reading to brag or say that I'm some intellectual because I'm not. I am just pointing out that I do this because I want to know what all the hubub is about. I want to learn from these stories. I just want to learn. Also one time my boss told me that readers are leaders. I took that to heart.
2. Develop My Relationships:
Throughout life I find myself constantly juggling relationships. There are some relationships that need maintenance. There are some that require very little. Michael Paradise and I don't have to talk for a month and we can still strike up a conversation anytime about the Chiefs, Royals, Jayhawks, or IzabyDaBaby's texting habits. We don't have to talk but we like to. I'm sure many of you have low maintenance relationships that you enjoy. Now that I'm at the ripe old age of 28 I can decide which relationships to keep and which to not concern myself with. The relationships that mean the most to me I am constantly trying to develop. I have two relationships that I care the most about. It is very important to me that my wife and I are growing in the same direction. Many times we are not on the same page. I don't think God created a person that thinks more differently about things than I do. Luckily we have the same foundation that all of the other things that we are so different in can work themselves out through communication and love. My goal is to constantly develop our relationship so that one day we will understand everything about each other (This will never happen but I'm going to enjoy the journey).
The other relationship that I am trying to develop is my relationship with God. When Jesus comes back I would like for him to recognize me. I picture him looking out through the mass of people and picking me out because I am his friend and he knows me. I develop this relationship by trying to take time each day to read about Jesus and talk to him. Some days I succeed and other days I don't.
I think that something unpractical about these goals is that I will never reach them. I know that we are supposed to set goals out of reach but not out of sight, but when I think of main goals for my life I couldn't think of anything better. I think that through always trying to achieve these goals in my private life my professional, and personal lives will take care of themselves.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Should we say something
This last Wednesday a girl that I met once died tragically in a motorcycle accident. It is a heartbreaking thing. My thoughts and prayers are with her family.
A few years ago something happened to me that changed my perspective on how to deal with a situation when someone has died. I was sitting in my office when I got a phone call that let me know that someone that I had been really close to had a brother who had died in the most tragic of ways. When I heard the news I was shocked and saddened. At one point I had been very close to this family. A person that I had spent some significant time was not with us anymore. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say.
That weekend was the funeral. I didn't know if I should go to it. Part of me wanted to go to it. The other part of me was a coward. The funeral was being held in Kansas City and I was going to be there at that time for a Chiefs game. The day before the funeral I found out what time it was going to be. I made excuses in my mind. I went to the Chiefs game instead. I will always feel guilty for that. I blew it. I didn't show my respect to that family in a way I should have. Earlier in the week I had sent a card. But that was not enough.
When somebody dies we don't always know how to act. It is not our faults. Whenever we see some of the family we don't know if we are supposed to say anything or not. In our minds it is a very awkward moment. But we have to realize that the moment is not about us.
A month had passed and I was in Kansas City again for a function. When I arrived at the church I saw the mother and father of the guy who had passed away. Again that awkward feeling came up. I knew that I had done wrong. I felt bad. I approached the father who I had been really good friends with. We talked about what men talk about. Football, baseball, Jayhawks basketball. We spoke for about five minutes. During the whole conversation I was wrestling with if I should mention something about this man's son. I did not mention anything and then the conversation was over. We went' in separate directions talking to different people.
After a few moments I saw that he was alone again. God must have said something to me because I had a distinct impression that I should go over and say something. I went up to him. I was nervous. I told him that I know that I hadn't seen him since his son had passed and that I didn't know If I was supposed to say something or not. I basically just told him how sorry I was about his loss. When I looked in this man's eyes I saw pain that before I could not imagine. I also saw gratitude. I told him again that I didn't know if I was supposed to say anything and that I did not want to offend him. What happened next is something I will never forget. He grabbed me and hugged me closer then I have ever hugged by man that I was not related to, and then he looked me in the eyes and he said "Richard, you should always say something".
I learned a huge lesson from that conversation. It changed the way I have approached these types of situations. I have made a point of letting people know how sorry I am for their loss when something tragic happens to them and their family. I have told myself that I would rather risk offending someone by saying something then offending them by not saying anything. Since that time I have never regretted saying something. I don't say that I understand the situation. I don't try to explain why bad things happen to good people. All I do is say that I'm sorry, and that I'm thinking of them. So next time you are faced with the decision to say something or not, give saying something a try.
A few years ago something happened to me that changed my perspective on how to deal with a situation when someone has died. I was sitting in my office when I got a phone call that let me know that someone that I had been really close to had a brother who had died in the most tragic of ways. When I heard the news I was shocked and saddened. At one point I had been very close to this family. A person that I had spent some significant time was not with us anymore. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say.
That weekend was the funeral. I didn't know if I should go to it. Part of me wanted to go to it. The other part of me was a coward. The funeral was being held in Kansas City and I was going to be there at that time for a Chiefs game. The day before the funeral I found out what time it was going to be. I made excuses in my mind. I went to the Chiefs game instead. I will always feel guilty for that. I blew it. I didn't show my respect to that family in a way I should have. Earlier in the week I had sent a card. But that was not enough.
When somebody dies we don't always know how to act. It is not our faults. Whenever we see some of the family we don't know if we are supposed to say anything or not. In our minds it is a very awkward moment. But we have to realize that the moment is not about us.
A month had passed and I was in Kansas City again for a function. When I arrived at the church I saw the mother and father of the guy who had passed away. Again that awkward feeling came up. I knew that I had done wrong. I felt bad. I approached the father who I had been really good friends with. We talked about what men talk about. Football, baseball, Jayhawks basketball. We spoke for about five minutes. During the whole conversation I was wrestling with if I should mention something about this man's son. I did not mention anything and then the conversation was over. We went' in separate directions talking to different people.
After a few moments I saw that he was alone again. God must have said something to me because I had a distinct impression that I should go over and say something. I went up to him. I was nervous. I told him that I know that I hadn't seen him since his son had passed and that I didn't know If I was supposed to say something or not. I basically just told him how sorry I was about his loss. When I looked in this man's eyes I saw pain that before I could not imagine. I also saw gratitude. I told him again that I didn't know if I was supposed to say anything and that I did not want to offend him. What happened next is something I will never forget. He grabbed me and hugged me closer then I have ever hugged by man that I was not related to, and then he looked me in the eyes and he said "Richard, you should always say something".
I learned a huge lesson from that conversation. It changed the way I have approached these types of situations. I have made a point of letting people know how sorry I am for their loss when something tragic happens to them and their family. I have told myself that I would rather risk offending someone by saying something then offending them by not saying anything. Since that time I have never regretted saying something. I don't say that I understand the situation. I don't try to explain why bad things happen to good people. All I do is say that I'm sorry, and that I'm thinking of them. So next time you are faced with the decision to say something or not, give saying something a try.
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