Should we say something

This last Wednesday a girl that I met once died tragically in a motorcycle accident.  It is a heartbreaking thing.  My thoughts and prayers are with her family.
A few years ago something happened to me that changed my perspective on how to deal with a situation when someone has died.  I was sitting in my office when I got a phone call that let me know that someone that I had been really close to had a brother who had died in the most tragic of ways.  When I heard the news I was shocked and saddened.  At one point I had been very close to this family.  A person that I had spent some significant time was not with us anymore.  I didn't know what to do.  I didn't know what to say.
That weekend was the funeral.  I didn't know if I should go to it.  Part of me wanted to go to it.  The other part of me was a coward.  The funeral was being held in Kansas City and I was going to be there at that time for a Chiefs game.  The day before the funeral I found out what time it was going to be.  I made excuses in my mind.  I went to the Chiefs game instead.  I will always feel guilty for that.  I blew it.  I didn't show my respect to that family in a way I should have. Earlier in the week I had sent a card.  But that was not enough.
When somebody dies we don't always know how to act.  It is not our faults.  Whenever we see some of the family we don't know if we are supposed to say anything or not.  In our minds it is a very awkward moment.  But we have to realize that the moment is not about us.
A month had passed and I was in Kansas City again for a function.  When I arrived at the church I saw the mother and father of the guy who had passed away.  Again that awkward feeling came up.  I knew that I had done wrong.  I felt bad.  I approached the father who I had been really good friends with.  We talked about what men talk about.  Football, baseball, Jayhawks basketball.  We spoke for about five minutes.  During the whole conversation I was wrestling with if I should mention something about this man's son.  I did not mention anything and then the conversation was over.  We went' in separate directions talking to different people.
After a few moments I saw that he was alone again.  God must have said something to me because I had a distinct impression that I should go over and say something.  I went up to him.  I was nervous.  I told him that I know that I hadn't seen him since his son had passed and that I didn't know If I was supposed to say something or not.  I basically just told him how sorry I was about his loss.  When I looked in this man's eyes I saw pain that before I could not imagine.  I also saw gratitude.  I told him again that I didn't know if I was supposed to say anything and that I did not want to offend him.  What happened next is something I will never forget.  He grabbed me and hugged me closer then I have ever hugged by man that I was not related to, and then he looked me in the eyes and he said "Richard, you should always say something".
I learned a huge lesson from that conversation.  It changed the way I have approached these types of situations.  I have made a point of letting people know how sorry I am for their loss when something tragic happens to them and their family.  I have told myself that I would rather risk offending someone by saying something then offending them by not saying anything.  Since that time I have never regretted saying something.  I don't say that I understand the situation.  I don't try to explain why bad things happen to good people.  All I do is say that I'm sorry, and that I'm thinking of them.  So next time you are faced with the decision to say something or not, give saying something a try.