June 15, 2008

According to facebook tomorrow Natalie and I will have been married for three years.  Crazy right.  We have now been together as a couple for five years.  I don't know anybody who doesn't like Natalie Young.  Out of all of my illustrious accomplishments convincing her to marry me is near the top (its going to be tough to beat the 2005 intramural season).  Something strange happens every time I introduce people to Natalie that have known me for a long time.  First off they can't stop staring at her.  Then they turn their gazes upon me.  Their faces are really weird.  I think the only way to describe this look is "How?"  How you ask.  My du Papagnush was able to spend some time with me at the crib this spring.  He was here for a couple of days when Natalie had gone to visit her family and a couple days when she had returned from her trip.  I think he put it best when he said "Whenever I see you and Natalie together there is a five second loop that goes on in my mind saying Richard is so lucky to have Natalie."  "You think this every five seconds?" .........(long pause)........"I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention to your question because I was thinking about how lucky you are to have Natalie".  That is the general consensus that I hear.  I am not mad at this.  The goal is to marry up.  And please believe that's what the kid did.
I was thinking about my life and how different it would be If I never would have met Natalie Groft.  What if she had continued to turn me down when I asked her out?  What if after we had been dating for a while she saw the writing on the wall and I realized that I am a bum?  What if her good friends and relatives had gotten to her sooner?  Well let me break down what it would be like in bullet point form.

• First off I would be a single man right now.  Why do I say that?  Cause Natalie told me the other night that God sent her to me because she is the only person on planet earth that could handle living with me.  Awesome right.  Some people might see this as a bad thing.  That there is only one person walking the face of the earth that could handle your boy.  I have zero problem with this.  At least she found me.  Phew.
• The Chiefs would have won the Superbowl in 2006.  You see my wife is very bad luck for the Chiefs.  I took her to the first game of the season where Trent Green had his head smashed in.  If Natalie doesn't go to that game my boy Trent would have played more that year.  Chiefs were 9-7 that season.  With a healthy Trent Green go ahead and add two more wins to that schedule.  We then are able to skip out on playing Indianapolis in Indianapolis for the first round of the playoffs and we sneak in to the Superbowl and win.  Hindsight is 20-20 my friends. 
• Lovestopicnic would not exist.  Why is that?  Well because I would not be living in Lincoln Nebraska.  It would be very hard to report the hottest celebrity gossip in Lincoln from L.A.  If I hadn't followed through with dating Natalie I wouldn't have applied at Union and I would be a star on the Hollywood walk of fame by now.  Or I would be playing video games in my parents basement.  One of those two.
• You already know what my wardrobe would be .That fitted with the Royals jersey and boat shoes.  Most of my lifelong friends would have stop communication with me cause I look like a bum.  That is the second time I have used the word bum.  I think it's a theme.  
• This video right here would have never taken place.  Not because I wouldn't have lost it in that guy's front yard.  But because no woman besides Natalie has enough confidence in themselves to not be ashamed to take a video of their husband talking about losing it in someone's front yard (I wrote losing it cause I didnt' want to write poopin).  What woman do you know that would take a video of her husband's most embarrassing moment that he has told the whole world about?  That's right, my baby loves me.

Now I know what you are thinking.  It looks like Richard got really hooked up on this whole being married to Natalie thing.  While I would just like to let you know that life wouldn't just be roses for Natalie if she would not have married me.  Quite the contrary my friend.  There are quite a few things that good ole NaTaTa would have missed out on if it wouldn't have been for this guy.

• Natalie wouldn't be enjoying the beautiful weather of Lincoln Nebraska.  She would probably have to move back to the ugly state of Tennessee.  I mean what is there to see there?  It's not like the scenery and wildlife is beautiful.  It isn't a place to live if you like outdoorsy things like Natalie likes. I got you baby.  We staying here in Nebraska till another state can compete with the beauty of the sandhills and the incredible drive from Lincoln to Omaha on I80.  
• Natalie's life would not be as beautiful.  Why?  Because simple is beautiful.  She would probably have married someone who makes alot more money then I make.  With more money comes more decisions on what to buy.  Tough decisions.  She doesn't have those decisions with me.  I got you boo.  
• Natalie would have missed out on the great sports that have taken place in the Kansas City area over the last five years.  Her life has been enriched by going to Chiefs, Royals, and Jayhawks games.  She would have never known how much she could love players like Zack Grienke, Mario Chalmers, and Larry Johnson.  This might be the saddest thing of all.  I am so happy that she found me.  I mean look at how sports brings people together.  This video is a perfect example.  See the high five at the 21 second mark?  If that isn't true love then what is?  WHAT IS?

• NaTaTa.  No one would call her by this eloquent nickname.  No one would call her by any of her other nicknames that I have given her NaTaTeezy, NaTaTEEE, Boo, Sweet Little Dove, and Cakes.  Someone would probably just call her honey or sweetheart or something bootsy like that.
• Natalie wouldn't have inherited  my sick 96 Camry if she wouldn't have married me.  That's literally the only reason I let her drive that thing.  Who knows what she would be driving to work.  Probably something way less reliable.  As you can see we both got pretty good deals with this marriage thing.

I love Natalie Young.  These three years have been amazing.  I have learned so much.  It is hard to put into words.  God has blessed me.  She is my heart.