Mother nature hates me!

I try to be a well rounded person. I want to be able to be down for anything. My wife is from Tennessee and is used to doin out doorsy kinda things. I am from Kansas City and I my family did not camp every weekend. But since I have been married I have tried to do things that she likes to do as well. So we have been doin some nature type things. Now in my life I have a terrible track record for being allergic to plants and stuff. You haven't met anyone who gets poison ivy worse then I do. When I was young I had a case that spread all over my face and I looked like two face off of Batman. I am so allergic to poison ivy that it doesn't even have to touch my skin for me to get it. That's not fair. It doesn't help that after all of these years I have no idea what it looks like. Leaves of three leave them be? Lets be a little more specific then that. I'm dying here. When I was at Natalie's house in TN before we were married her brothers convinced me to go rock climbing. Like I said I am a man's man. I climbed to the top of the cliff and felt pretty good about myself. I did not feel good about my self a week later when I was scratching my leg off with shards of broken glass. I have the worst seasonal allergies of all time. When spring time comes everyone goes outside and enjoys the warm weather. I enjoy it for about 10 minutes till I start begging my wife to stab my eyes out with our car antennae. Now why am I brining this up? If you check back a couple posts you will see a few pictures of us fishing. I had a great time. It was fun. Until I woke up this morning with chiggers up and down my legs. How did this happen? I was wearing jeans! I took precautions! I think I must have stepped on these critters home and they went up my jeans. Where do I have the most bites. Only the worst place on your legs to have the most bites. Behind my knees. This isn't my first rodeo. I've had these before. Finger nail polish is the trick. So now I am sitting in my basement covered in Estee Lauder wondering what I did to make mother nature so mad.